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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738245">she’s always been this way (painted in shades of grey)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theheartofthekoko/pseuds/theheartofthekoko'>theheartofthekoko</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magicians (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Humor, Shadeless Julia Wicker, tw talk of abortion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:09:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theheartofthekoko/pseuds/theheartofthekoko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Julia's always been willing to do absolutely anything to get what she wants. In light of that, it takes the gang a little longer to figure out something is wrong.<br/>Or: Julia loses her shade and no one notices.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(IMPLIED), Kady Orloff-Diaz/Julia Wicker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>she’s always been this way (painted in shades of grey)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by this post: https://prettyboysdontlookatexplosions.tumblr.com/post/630640127081857024/it-is-very-very-funny-that-this-spiel-of-foggs</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            	Despite its traumatic beginning, Julia’s abortion was a complete success. Everyone congratulated her and promptly moved on to their own numerous problems. Julia was fine, the sack of evil cells was gone. All was right in the world.</p>
<p>The first inkling that something was wrong occurred the day after Julia’s abortion. Quentin watched her flit around the cottage, all smiles and enthusiasm in a way he hadn’t seen her in months. But, well, she hadn’t not been pregnant in months either, and who wouldn’t be happy about a demon baby abortion/exorcism? Still, though.</p>
<p>            	“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.</p>
<p>            	“I feel great!” she replied, twirling on her heel to grin brightly at him. “You want to help me gut Reynard?”</p>
<p>            	Quentin took a step back at the bloodthirsty gleam in her eyes. She looked ready to stab anyone in her way, even if it was him. He nodded nervously. She smiled beautifully.</p>
<p>            	For a split second, he wondered if something was wrong with her, but then he remembered that time in ninth grade when she’d framed a fellow classmate for cheating on a final so she’d be the first in their class and, well. This was his Julia.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Margo watched an entire forest of sentient trees go up in flames. Julia was full-on strutting away from the growing flames, a blooming smirk plastered on her face. Margo resisted the urge to cut a bitch only by picturing the stupid puppy-dog eyes Quentin would give her when he found out that she’d murdered her best friend.</p>
<p>            	“Are you fucking kidding me?” she demanded.</p>
<p>            	“What?” Julia asked, twirling her hair innocently between her fingers. “I solved your problem for you.”</p>
<p>            	“In what world is this solving my problem?”</p>
<p>            	Julia looked behind her, still smiling as she gazed at her handywork. She turned back to Margo with a Quentin-esque twinkle in her eyes. “Since we’re in Fillory, I guess in a fictional one.” Then she giggled.</p>
<p>            	Margo narrowed her eyes. This bitch was unhinged. Was there something wrong with her? Someone who Quentin loved this much couldn’t be this terrible, could she? On the other hand, Julia had fallen into line with the head bitch of the hedge witches, so maybe Quentin just didn’t have enough self esteem to find someone better. They’d need to have a long talk about this when she finally saw him again. She looked back at the destruction behind them and sighed. It was going to be a long day.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>            	Penny watched as Julia lunged across the room to try to murder Senator Gaines for his power. He wrapped his hands around her waist and yanked her back against his chest, hands around her wrists to contain her.</p>
<p>            	“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.</p>
<p>            	“Oh, come one,” she said with an explosive sigh. “It’ll fix all of our problems, and you know it.”</p>
<p>            	The Senator was blubbering in the corner as Kady tried to wrangle him. Julia was wriggling in his hold, as if still trying to escape and murder the unsuspecting man.</p>
<p>            	“We can’t just murder a senator, Julia. God damn.”</p>
<p>            	With a put-upon sigh, she slumped against him, rolling her eyes. Penny didn’t know why he was surprised. This was the girl who’d trapped her best friend in his own mind and almost killed him. And yeah, Quentin was kind of a nerdy twerp, but he’d seen the state of the inside of his head. Not even that dork deserved to be trapped in that hellhole for eternity. So, really, was trying to kill a senator such a stretch?</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>            	Alice could feel the hole in Julia where her shade was supposed to be. “You’re not all there are you?” she asked in Quentin’s voice. “What <em>fun </em>we could have.”</p>
<p>            	Julia looked at her quizzically before it finally seemed to click. “You’re not Quentin, are you?” she asked. “What do you mean I’m not all there?”</p>
<p>            	Alice smirked. No one had ever noticed when she’d taken over this sack of flesh before. Although she was willing to bet no one had noticed the hole in Julia either, not even Julia herself. Julia reached through the cage to tap the center of her chest suggestively. “Right here,” Alice said, trailing Quentin’s fingers up to Julia’s throat in a caress. Julia let her. “Your shades not in there anymore. I wonder how that happened?”</p>
<p>            	Julia didn’t answer. She looked steadily into Quentin’s face and then smiled. “Alice?” she asked but didn’t wait for a confirmation. “I think you’re just who I need.”</p>
<p>            	As Julia unlocked the door, Alice grinned. She was right, this was going to be <em>fun.</em></p>
<p>***</p>
<p>            	“Are you okay?” Eliot asked, patting down Quentin’s sides, searching for wounds he hoped he wouldn’t find.  </p>
<p>            	Quentin let out a wet sigh and slumped into his hands. Eliot felt his stomach curdle. All he’d been told was that Reynard had threatened Quentin. He’d come running. Quentin looked rundown and sad, but fine.</p>
<p>            	“Q,” he said. “Are you alright.”</p>
<p>            	Quentin slumped further into himself, running his hand through his hair. Eliot saw it shaking and pulled it into his own hand, squeezing tightly. “It’s Julia,” Quentin said. “She used me as bait. Reynard almost got me.”</p>
<p>            	Eliot pulled him fully into his arms, ignoring the way Quentin was shaking apart. He wasn’t hurt. He was fine. They’d all be fine.</p>
<p>            	“Why would she do that?” Quentin asked.</p>
<p>            	Eliot thought of the way he’d had to comfort Quentin after his and Julia’s fight at the safe house, thought about how she’d retaliated by trapping him in his own mind, and wondered why Quentin was so surprised.</p>
<p>            	“I don’t know,” Eliot said, tightening his hold on the other man.</p>
<p>            	Eliot pretended he didn’t hear Quentin’s quiet sniffle.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>            	Kady stood frozen as Julia yelled at Persephone, willing her to just shoot Reynard right in the face.</p>
<p>            	“You’re still capable of <em>good </em>Julia,” Persephone said. “Don’t let him take that from you.”</p>
<p>            	“You don’t know me at all,” Julia said. “This asshole took <em>everything </em>from me. Why should I let him live?”</p>
<p>            	“I can give you your shade back, Julia.” Persephone reached her hand toward Julia, palm up entreatingly. “Show mercy.”</p>
<p>            	Oh. She didn’t have a shade. Kady thought of all the amoral shit Julia had done since she’d known her. There was that the spell she’d done with Marina to fuck Quentin up. And whatever had happened to get her Mother killed. Had she not had a shade all this time, since before she’d met her?</p>
<p>Kady willed her to pull the trigger with all her might. As if in response, Julia squared her shoulders and shot Reynard in the head. He dropped. Persephone disappeared.</p>
<p>            	Julia rushed to Kady’s side as she dropped too. “Are you okay?” Julia asked.</p>
<p>            	“You don’t have a shade?” Kady asked. “Since when?”</p>
<p>            	“Something went wrong with the abortion, I think,” Julia said.</p>
<p>            	Huh. So, all the terrible shit she’d done before that was just her. Kady wondered how much of a difference it really made. Kady twined her hand in Julia’s and let herself be pulled up. She linked their fingers together and refused to let go. It’d all be okay. Reynard was dead. Everything else would fall into place. </p>
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